I know for a fact I was not the only adult that was super excited about the release of Finding Dory in theaters yesterday but even if I was I was somewhat disappointed. Don’t get me wrong by nature I’m an optimist but I was expecting a bit more from the film. I love Ellen DeGeneres and personally I think she is one of the most lovely and grounded individuals on planet Earth. However if it wasn’t for her good name on this movie and the mere laughter that emerges from the depths of your soul anticipating that next sentence from her lips I would have waited for this to hit Blue-ray or Netflix.

I hate to compare this to Finding Memo but Finding Dory didn’t give me any depth to the supporting characters. For the life of me I can’t think of that red octopus’s name and outside of him I can’t name anyone else outside of Memo and his dad. This movie was just missing a whole lot of something for me. I really couldn’t connect with the movie. The only thing that gave me any feeling of empathy was my sensitivity toward Dory’s memory issue.

The really ironic thing was that I never saw finding Memo when it first came out. In fact I think it was a couple of years that after it came out that I finally saw it and I was like wow this is an awesome movie. I saw Dory opening night and again I say I really could have waited until it was off the big screen.

In all fairness, I will say that there is a slight possibility that my chaos of kids could have prevented me from embracing the fullness of the film. In addition to my 2 year old, and soon to be 1 year old, I picked up my two cousins (age 5 and 10) and scooped them along with us. SO of course there was the repeated trips to the bathroom, can we have more popcorn, I need more soda, etc. I’m going to close by blaming my distractions, otherwise Dory just didn’t hit the mark for me. Thoughts?

#she thinks out loud

I drank about 78 ounces of lemon infused water today and I have been back and forth to the bathroom tickling all day. Anyway, that has nothing to do with the issue I want to talk about I just wanted to share that. So this whole topic of the “trans-gender” bathroom is a bit awkward for me and for a few reasons of my own personal biased.

Issue number 1. Where did this come from and when did this become a hot topic? This time last year we were not discussing such an issue and now, there is an additional bathroom everywhere in addition to the 5 billion we already have. The men’s, the women’s, the single family restroom, the multi-family restroom, the women’s room for nursing infants, and now the transgendered restroom? Do I have a problem with transgendered persons? Absolutely not! What I can’t understand is why a transgendered person would want to enter a restroom that labels and classifies them as soon as they enter it?

Let me explain.

If I were transitioning, let’s say from female to male. If my ultimate goal is to be viewed, accepted, and respected as a male, I would want to enter a restroom with whom I identify as. If I were (and again this is just my thinking) walking into a restroom that notified everyone of my “business” I feel like I have put myself in a position to be judged and a target for hateful and ignorant folk.

Now the simple answer maybe the fact that because I am “transitioning” and perhaps have some things going on down south that have not quite developed yet I feel un-easy and therefore need a more comfortable setting.

Well granted, I get that but if we had bathrooms designed for the soul purpose of comfort due to a  physical body in “transition” then there should be restrooms for menstruating women, menopausal women, post partum, etc. There should also be a male restroom for men post prostate surgery or what about people wo have to empty out their catheter and ostomy bags?  What about adults with special needs who have to be changed by caretakers? That Kola diaper changing station in those bathrooms are for babies and not adult bodies. Do you think those people feel “comfortable” doing those things in a public restroom? Absolutely not!

My point is we all have to keep it moving.

Now I’m all in support of equality for the LGBT community because equal rights should be a given privilege of us all but the bathroom thing confuses me. Not to mention, transgender people didn’t just pop up this year. There have always been men and women who have identified differently then their natural born sex. Newsflash though, guess what bathroom they BEEN using ‘fo now? That’s right whatever sex they identify with! Men transitioning to become women BEEN using the women’s restroom and nobody said anything because nobody knew. Women transitioning to male BEEN using the men’s bathroom (wait…. I think? Not sure how that one goes but you get my point).

I’m a natural born heterosexual female (in the next 5 years single women gone start saying that when they start dating watch) and you no what I have used the male restroom numerous of times. Go on that long road trip and pull over in that little country town if you want to with one toilet for men and one for women… watch how many women duck off in that men’s bathroom push come to shove.

Now the men probably wouldn’t take such a gamble because they can just go pee on the side of the road. It really doesn’t matter. Plus an extra bathroom would just confuse me because there have been brief moments (long road trips) when I was like, “dang I wish I was a man so I could just whip it out and pee on the side of the road”.  Does that make me trans-gender? Just joking but seriously is that how it starts cause I’ve had that thought before when I go on long road trips and have to use it? I think I’m good though. Email me somebody.

All and all….

I just feel like a separate bathroom does just that, it keeps us separate. Go to the restroom with whom you are transitioning into and identify with. You want to be a lady? Be a lady with the ladies! You know how we do, girl come to the bathroom with me. You want to be a fella then go pose over that urinal girl, wait sir, ma’am, mister..wait what do I say though? Anyway, just go pee!

#she thinks out loud

Yassssss! After two years of being a stay-at-home mom I have rejoined the work force! Well, somewhat. I only work part-time because I am not fully ready to leave my babies just yet. My boys are still so little (two years old and soon to be one year old) and I can’t be without them that many hours a day just yet. I have truly enjoyed being a mother. It has been my most rewarding role in the play of life thus far. I LOVE making their snacks, going for walks, playing, and making crafts for them. So trust me, working part-time is ideal for me and I am thankful to my husband very much for supporting my choice either way. More importantly I am thankful to God for us being in the position to have that option.

This was my first week back on somebody’s payroll and it was hard that first day leaving my kids with the sitter. I wasn’t worried about my two year as much because he is very friendly, loving, and welcoming. Not to mention he is at a great age to start being around other children now. We may place him in a two-day a week summer program for social growth. But my second child? Well, he’s more of my husband’s kid then mine. My 11 month old is not one easily won over honey. You have to tap dance for his affections and even then he may not be all that impressed. He barely likes me and his father and we are his parents.

I teared up as I got ready to leave for my first day of work last Monday. I left 12 billion notes, post-its, and signs all over the house for the sitter and I am most certain she thought I was crazy and a control freak but I can live with that. Even though I was gone less than 6 hours it was hard leaving. I think I called twice, not to mention asking my husband a thousand times if he remembered to tell her “this and that” as if my notes of “this and that” weren’t already enough when he left out for work.

I’m sure one maybe curious to know what work field does a woman who seems like she can’t be without her kids for more then five minutes return to? Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess… I work with children! I am a Community Living Support case manager (and soon to be QMHP-c, qualified mental health professional-children) and I work with children and adolescents of a special and at risk population.

I feel so blessed to have a job that is just as dually rewarding as my home life. I get to set my own schedule which means I still get to do all the fun things I enjoy with my kids! Yep, I literally arrive and leave my office when I want to and when I am not there it’s because I am taking one of my clients out somewhere fun (unless they have an appointment with the doctor). Now how awesome is that?

Transitioning back to work (be it full or part time) is never easy after you have been glued to your children since they have been born. Motherhood ignites so many different feelings and emotions within a woman that were never there prior to her being a mom and its amazing! Just think about the love we have for our own mothers. How at the lowest and scariest moments of your life wither she was living or not you called on her like you called on the Lord himself and you could simply feel her scooping you up and holding you in her arms.

Now close your eyes and imagine being one. Imagine someone’s connection for you be that strong. Pretty scary huh? But it’s so beautiful at the same time. Can you feel that love?  That need to forever love and protect them from everything never goes away from the moment that baby is placed in your arms. You think about them all day, all night, when your home with them, or away from them at work. When I leave my house I have to tell myself, “God is their ultimate protector, He is watching the kids today. You are the bomb-mom, now WORK IT!” Then I twist my little fluffy self right on out the door.

#she thinks out loud